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Brisbane, Queensland

Brisbane is Australia's third largest city and the state capital of Queensland. Not so long ago, the rest of Australia considered it little more than an overgrown country town, but it has shirked off this unwelcome reputation to become one of the country's most progressive centres. Since playing host to a string of major international events in the 80s, including the 1982 Commonwealth Games and Expo '88, Brisbane has developed into a lively, cosmopolitan city with several interesting districts, a good street cafe scene, a great riverside park, a busy cultural calendar and decent nightlife.

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After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again! Bananas: Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fibre, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

  1. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

  2. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

  3. Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve

  4. your mood and generally make you feel happier.

  5. PMS: Forget the pills -- eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

  6. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

  7. Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

  8. Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

  9. Constipation: High in fibre, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

  10. Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana

  11. milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with

  12. the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the

  13. milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

  14. Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you

  15. suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

  16. Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood

  17. sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

  18. Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

  19. Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

  20. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to

  21. control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

  22. Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

  23. Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas

  24. to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature

  25. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan

  26. Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12

  27. they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

  28. Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of

  29. a high-potassium banana snack.

  30. Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,

  31. "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

  32. So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare

  33. it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates,

  34. three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and

  35. is one of the best value foods around.

  36. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

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A middle aged woman

has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

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