Assistance with
Australian language,
culture, and custom
In major cities of Australia, life and language is as
cosmopolitan, homogenous and metrosexual as in New York or London.
However, over the mountains and across the plains is the "real"
Australia: an ancient, untamed land of hazard and mystery, and of exotic
cultures and dialects that remain remarkably well-preserved, despite the
resident population's access to literature and modern-day
telecommunications. aggy (n., agg-ee) A person from a rural or
agricultural background, particularly if they adopt the image,
lifestyle, and symbols that are stereotypically-unique to rural life in
Australia. The brands "R.M. Williams", "Drizabone", "Akubra", and
"Holden" are predominant. Females of the type wear smoothed bob
haircuts, fob-chain necklaces, and their shirt collars ludicrously
turned up at the back. anythink or anyfink (n., enny-thing-k;
enny-fing-k) Accepted pronunciation of the English word "anything",
meaning: "nothing" or "whatever".
Aussie (n., ozz-ee) Anyone who calls, or still calls,
Australia " home".
Australia (n., oss-trayl-yah) The great southern
land, terra australis, the world's largest island continent (right),
parked just below South-East Asia, in the region of Oceania, separating
the Pacific and Indian Oceans. To say that Australia has stations
(ranches, farms) the size of Texas is no joke. Australia's land mass is
only slightly smaller than the USA mainland, or all of Europe, for
example, however as the world's flattest, lowest, and driest land mass
(except for Antarctica) overall, it can sustain only a relatively tiny
population. On the plus side, there are seemingly infinite miles of
fabulous beaches, coral reefs, rainforests, deserts, mountains, even
alps. The more populated regions, particularly the eastern seaboard,
appear fertile and green, but away from coastal hinterlands, the land
gradually becomes flatter and drier. The major cities compare in size
and sophistication to those anywhere in the world, but on the plains and
in the outback, the basic culture and lifestyle have changed little over
the last century. Just off the eastern coast of Australia is a pristine
ski resort and environmental theme park known as "New Zealand" (right:
two elongated islands coloured hot pink).
average (adj., av-rij) Below par; not quite good
enough, as in: "that was a pretty average effort, mate", meaning: "you
could have done a lot better than that".
B&S (n., bee-and-ess) A traditional way to meet
potential fiancees, Australia's B&S (short for "Bachelor's &
Spinster's") 'balls' are huge outdoor events where young people come
together from far and wide to drink, dance with their mates (see below),
drink, vomit, drink, eat, drink, dance with their mates and someone
else, drink, kiss their mates and/or someone else, drink, fall over,
wake up, drink, and do circle work (see below) in an hilarious attempt
to kill, maim, or at least bruise their mates before heading back to
their respective farms.
bastard (n., bah-stid) 1. Affectionate term for adult
Australian male ["How you going, you old bastard?"]. 2. Loathsome term
for adult Australian male ["I'll bloody-well brain you, you bastard."].
3. Philanthropist, as in "You shouldn't have done that, you bastard,"
meaning: "thanks very much for your kind, thoughtful gesture".
bewdy (n., biew-dee) A good thing, as in the common
expression: "you little bewdy", meaning: "you good thing". Derived from
the English word beauty.
bickie (n., bick-ee) An abbreviation of the English
word biscuit. Australians tend to abbreviate nouns or short phrases,
then add an "ee" sound at the end. There are numerous other examples,
including "sickie" (sick leave, or taking a day off from work), and
"cozzie" (swimming costume).
billy (n., bil-lee) 1. A tin container with wire
handle; used for boiling water over a campfire, usually for the infusion
of tea leaves known as "billy tea". 2. A bong or water-pipe.
blimey (n., bly-mee) Expletive, thought to have been
abbreviated from: "blind me!"
bloke (n., blow-k) Very common term for an adult male
Australian, can be used with affection and respect ["he's a good
bloke"], to emphasise masculinity ["he's a real bloke"], or as an excuse
["he's just a bloke"].
bugger (n., bugg-ah) 1. Codger ["you old bugger"]. 2.
Non-blasphemous expletive ["oh, bugger"]. 3. (v.) to break, damage,
corrupt or ruin ["bugger up"].
bugger me (expl., bugg-ah-mee) Exclamation similar in
meaning to: "well, I'll be...". This term, when uttered in a social
setting, should never be interpreted as a literal invitation.
buggery (n., bugg-ah-ree) Mildly unpleasant
metaphorical place to send someone to, as in "go to buggery", meaning:
"get lost".
bunyip (n., bun-yip) Towering, dangerous bush
creature. Do not approach or acknowledge a bunyip in the wild. The
bunyip is responsible for the disappearance of many visitors to the
bush, particularly attractive females, some of whom find their mumbling,
dribbling, flatulence and bad attitude strangely compelling.
bush (n., boosh-ee) 1. Australian forest, ranging
from dense to scrubby. Some vast bush areas are virgin and protected by
legislation. Most are regularly logged, and clearing for development is
rampant in some regions. 2. Thatch of female pubic hair.
Bushfaery (n., boosh-fayr-ee) Comedic,
self-proclaimed 'high-priestess' of Australiana. The Bushfaery ("Bush")
character is styled by 'serious' academic and creative director, Melanie
Williamson. Ms Williamson became something of an icon as the
tutu-wearing accordion player in the legendary Bushwackers band during
their 1990's resurgence. "I couldn't live down my old band image," she
said, "so I put it to good use."
bushie or bushy (n.) A person from the bush, or at
home in it.
circle work (n., sur-kull-wurk) Light-hearted game
played by young rural folk, particularly after a B&S (see above),
whereby utes (see below) are driven at speed in increasingly tight
circles until any passengers seated in the open rear area of the
vehicles are thrown clear, or not.
cockatoo (n., cock-or-two) 1. Native Australian bird;
large, flighted. Cockatoos come in many colour combinations, the most
iconic being white or black with a sulphur-coloured crest. Their
powerful beaks can shred a pine cone in seconds. Cockatoos mate for
life, and are commonly kept as pets because of their amusing antics and
ability to mimic human language, as in: "Hello, Cocky!". 2. Person who
demonstrates attention-seeking behaviours.
cocky (n., cock-ee) 1. Abbr. for "cockatoo". 2.
Land-owning farmer (left), many of whom remain eligible for marriage due
to their remote and rugged lifestyles, however interested females should
be warned that the strong-looking man's man of the faraway eyes and few
words may transpose into a distant, controlling, self-absorbed, and
homosocial partner.
crikey (n., cry-kee) Inoffensive expletive, as in
"Oh, crikey!" (crikey golly, exaggerated form). Thought to have
developed as a cover-up for having started to utter a blasphemous
expletive, as in: "Oh, Chri(st)...key!"
dag (n., da-ag) 1. Piece of wool hanging from a
sheep's arse around which excrement has dried to create a dangling,
bead-like effect. 2. Affectionate term for someone who is not contriving
in any way to make a good impression. 3. Casual in attire and/or
attitude. (daggy adj., dagging v., also dag v. as in "to dag around the
house")
dinky di (n./adj., ding-kee-doy) Stereotypically
Australian, thought to be a derivative of "fair dinkum" (see below).
drop bear (n., drop bair) Ferocious, teddy bear-like
native Australian creature. Some are close to human in size. They await
human prey by hiding in the low branches of gum trees, then drop
unexpectedly and cuddle their victims to death.
drought-proofing (v., drow-ut prew-fing) For a cocky
(see above), the act of marrying a nurse or teacher, or someone who is
prepared to become either in marriage, so as to provide reliable
off-farm income in times of drought, which is almost all the time.
fair dinkum (n./adj., f-ayr ding-k'm) Stereotypically
Australian in nature, quality, tone, behaviour or character, ie: simple,
honest, straight-forward.
fair few (pron., f-ayr f-iew) Variable but precise
number quoted between cockies (see above) when counting sheep onto a
truck, as in Cocky #1: "How many you got up there now, Len?"; Cocky #2:
"A fair few, Len."; meaning 138 in the Bogan River region, and differing
specific amounts elsewhere.
feral (n., f-ayr-roo-l) 1. Introduced species such as
the fox, pig, cat, and cane toad that run amok in the bush and provide
country folk with plenty of things to bait, trap and shoot at. 2.
Derogatory or dismissive term used by folk in smaller country towns for
people who would be considered "alternative" or "contemporary" in an
urban setting, such as those featuring any/all of the following
indicators: piercings, tattoos, dreadlocks, wearing of sarongs of other
'hippy'-like clothing, vegetarianism, university education in
philosophical subjects, social conscience, no bra (females), partaking
of cannabis in a social setting, living in non-wedlock relationships,
lack of attendance to a house of Christian worship on Sundays, and/or
the wearing of a backpack.
Flying Doctor (p.n., f-loy-ing dock-tah) Aerial
medical emergency service providing treatment and transport (right) for
the sick or injured in remote, sparsely-populated areas of Australia
(and that's most of the continent, actually).
gormley (n./adj., gawm-lee) Discriminatory term used
by squatocracy (see below) in reference to people of lesser
socio-economic standing, or otherwise regarded as inferior to
themselves, for example an abandoned wife keeping her family together on
welfare payments. Used as a noun: "he is such a gormley", and as an
adjective: "they are a gormley family". (gormley slumley n./adj., more
extreme form of the same thing).
gumboot (n., gum boot) Rubber boots commonly used in
the wet on farms, similar to "wellingtons" or "galoshes". Their wide
leg-openings allow farmers, particularly in New Zealand, to steady the
rear legs of sheep while they access the animal's "business end".
homosocialism (n., hoe-moe-soe-show-lyzz-um) A
preference for socialising with one's own gender, still extremely common
at pubs, clubs and social gatherings in smaller country towns whereby
'the men' tell loud, funny-sounding stories to each other around the
bar, or keg of beer; while 'the ladies' sit at tables, smiling wanly and
discussing the health and progress of children and extended families,
staying sober so as to drive their men-folk home.
jumper (n., jum-pah) 1. A knitted sweater, preferably
made of pure Australian wool. Jenny Kee is famous for her
Australiana-inspired jumpers. 2. Depressed person having leapt from The
Gap, a towering, near-vertical ocean cliff-face representing the South
Head of magnificent Sydney Harbour. The Gap is a popular and
spectacularly scenic spot for suicide, and sometimes even murder!
Visitors are strongly advised to stay within the guard-rails.
kangaroo (n., kang-gah-roo) Native Australian
marsupial. An instantly-recognised national symbol, the kangaroo breeds
superbly in the wild and its lean, delicate meat is finding acceptance
on dining tables the world over. It is not true that kangaroos hop down
the main streets of Sydney, but their numbers reach plague proportions
in some rural regions. Culling is an agrinomic and ecological necessity
that invokes emotional debate among ignorant do-gooders. Kangaroo meat
has a light, game-like flavour and is best eaten rare as it toughens
when overcooked. In a supermarket near you - enjoy some of this
plentiful, low-fat, environmentally-friendly source of animal protein
today.
King Brown (n., kih-ng brow-n) Native Australian
snake, pseudechis australis, the King Brown or Mulga Snake. A ready
biter with a fatal venom. Grows to 3m, commonly found in dry eucalypt
forests, the bush. Australia has roughly 140 varieties of land snake,
and around 32 different sea snakes, however of these 172 or so, just 100
are venomous, and only 12 of the venomous varieties are fatal to humans
without timely medical intervention. Victims should lie completely still
until help arrives.
koala (n., koh-ar-lah) Native Australian marsupial
(right) that lives in certain gum trees. Not to be confused with the
aggressive drop bear, koalas are cute and apparently "stoned" on
eucalyptus. Koalas are a protected species and may not be kept in
captivity.
Lake Eyre (n. layk air) A sea-sized salt lake in
southern central Australia (left). On the once-in-a-blue-moon occasion
that it fills with water, the 'dead heart' teams with wildlife and
flora. Australia gasps in wonder at this miracle, as seen on the evening
news. Learn more than most Australians know about their geo-science at
www.ga.gov.au/education.
lagerphone (n., lah-gar-foe-n) Percussive instrument
made from broomstick or similar, often with wooden cross-pieces, to
which metal beer-bottle tops are loosely attached with nails. A strike
of the stick on the ground, and/or with a beating-stick, makes a
simultaneous banging and rattling sound. In the bush, the lagerphone
substitutes for a drum kit. In Nova Scotia and other parts of Canada,
similar 'instruments' have evolved to be called "ugly sticks".
lamington (n., lam-ing-tun) Cubes of sponge cake,
rolled in chocolate then dipped in coconut. A vintage Australian treat,
recently banned from school fund-raising drives thanks to a certain
American doughnut chain.
larrikin (n./adj. layr-rah-kin) Indefinable
Australian quality of playfulness and irreverence. City-dwelling
Australians these days mostly confine themselves to
larrikinism-on-the-inside, however overt larrikinism among males is
still tolerated in rural areas.
Len (p.n. le-nnn) First name of all Australian
farmers, except those with a different first name. Similarly, all
Australian farmers' grown-up sons are called "Bruce", unless they're
not; and their sons, in turn, are mostly called "Thomas".
Lympics (n. lim-pix) The Olympic Games - proudly,
safely and successfully staged in Melbourne 1956, and Sydney 2000.
map o'Tassie (n., map-oh-taz-ee) Tasmania is a jewel
of an island state off the south-east coast of Australia. The island's
shape is vaguely similar to that of a human female pudenda (see
continental map above), which is therefore commonly referred to by this
polite Australian euphemism.
mate (n., may-t) Friend, pal, buddy, comrade, kindred
spirit, fellow man.
Milo (n., my-loe) Ultra-delicious chocolate-flavoured
energy food developed in Australia in 1934. Milo (right) is sold as
crumbly powder, food bars, and ready-to-drink. The powdered version is
added to cold or heated milk - depending on the season. Milo contains
vitamins A, B1, B2, and C, plus the minerals Calcium, Iron and Potassium
- but who cares about nutritional benefits when it's so yummy to eat
straight out of the tin by the spoonful. Addicted former visitors and
ex-patriots can order Milo, as well other Australian national or
indigenous food products such as Vegemite (see below) or wattleseed,
online through global retailers such as
www.ausimports.com
.
multiculturalism (n., mull-tee-kultch-ah-roo-lizm)
The ideal of cultural tolerance and mutual respect in a nation of
immigrants where to be a "real Australian" or "true blue" is a state of
mind rather than origin.
Never Never (n., nevah-nevah) See "outback".
not so bad (adj.ph., naw-t-soh-ba-a-a-ad) Typical
form of Australian understatement, as in: Q: "how are you going?", A:
"not so bad"; meaning: "pretty good, really"; or as another example: Q:
"how are you going?", A: "not that flash, mate"; meaning: "help me,
please, I'm about to die".
Nymagee Triangle (n., nim-ah-jee troy-ang-gool)
Triangular shaped region between the NSW outback towns of Cobar, Nyngan,
and Condobolin; the hamlet of Nymagee (pop. 62) lying at its centre. The
Nymagee Triangle is thought to be a distant cousin to the Bermuda
Triangle. Whole busloads of sight-seers have gone missing from the area;
and mysterious damp circles appear on local roadways at night.
ordinary (adj., oar-din-air-ee) See "average".
outback (n., owt-bak) The dry, flat, vastly
unpopulated inland of Australia. All too often, naive visitors to the
outback perish from dehydration and exposure after under-estimating the
distances and harsh conditions (right). Finding water at all may mean
dancing cheek-cheek with a crocodile. Very nasty indeed, travellers, so
don't take signposted warnings out there lightly (below left) - let
someone know where you're going and when you should be back.
poof (n., poof) 1. Homosexual male, not to be
confused with the European footrest pouffe. 2. (adv.) to disappear
inexplicably, as in "went poof and was gone".
redback (n., red-bak) Venomous Australian spider,
commonly found under the toilet seats of 'out-houses' and public
toilets, although not so much in urban areas. Of all the thousands of
Australian spiders, arthropods and insects, only three have bites
capable of causing death without timely medical intervention - the
funnel-web spider (and related species), the red back spider and the
paralysis tick. The bite of the white-tail spider causes necrosis
(tissue death) that can require amputation of the effected area, but is
not in itself life-threatening.
road-kill (n., roe-wd ki-ull) The dirt shoulders of
country and outback roads are littered with carcasses in various states
of putrefaction. The most common victims of cars, trucks, and tour buses
are kangaroos, however sheep, wombats, goannas, snakes, and the vermin
foxes and rabbits are often encountered. No good bushie would let fresh
road-kill go to waste (the clever ones cook a meal of it on their engine
manifold, whilst driving).
sheila (n., shee-lah) Very common term for an adult
female Australian, can be used with affection and respect ["she's a good
sheila"], to emphasise femininity ["she's a real sheila"], or as an
excuse ["she's just a sheila"].
shout (n.v., sshh-ow-t) Custom observed between group
of drinkers, each taking a turn at buying a round of drinks for the
group. The rules of the shout are strict, numerous, and adhered to with
near-religious obsession.
smoko (n., smoe-koe) 1. A break, the bloke's
equivalent to morning or afternoon tea, traditionally enjoyed with a
roll-your-own cigarette. 2. Cannabis, a herbal relaxant common in
Australia since the 1970s (half the population may have smoked it at
some stage, but of those now in public life, all say they never actually
inhaled).
spunk (n., spung-k) Attractive male or female, as in
"phwoar, what a spunk", meaning: "my, how attractive".
squatocracy (n., skwot-ock-ra-see) Families or
individuals who have occupied their rural land for several generations
and developed an un-Australian sense of social superiority, authority
and entitlement.
strewth (n., strew-th) Expletive, thought to have
been derived from: "god's truth!"
Strayian (p.n., strai-yun) Australian, as in: "Are
you Strayian?". More contemporary form than 'Strine' (see below).
Strine (n., str-eye-n) Name for the Australian
language or dialect, as loosely based on English [ab. Australian].
Sydney Tobart (p.n., sid-nee-toe-bart) One of the
world's most dangerous and competitive ocean yacht races, the
Sydney-to-Hobart fleet departs spectacularly from Sydney Harbour every
Boxing Day (the day after Christmas Day) for Hobart in southern
Tasmania.
thick (adj., thi-k) Stupid. When travelling overseas,
Australians inadvertently proposition many cab drivers, waitpersons, and
customs officers with the rhetorical question: "Are you thick, mate?"
tintookie (n., tin-took-ee) Australian bush fairy of
the species tintookie terra australis, Celtic-Gypsy in ancestry, and a
close spiritual relative of the Aboriginal bush sprite tintookie
indigenous australis. According to Dreamtime legend, tintookies appear
to help those who are lost in the bush (particularly children). Visitors
to the outback should be warned that tintookies cannot be of assistance
in dry, scrubby areas.
traditional owners (n., trah-dish-shon-ull oh-nah-s)
Wry euphemism for Australia's indigenous population, used by some rural
types who are either mindful or resentful of the Aboriginal people's
successful reclamation of some sacred sites, traditional lands, and
hunting grounds.
tree change (n., tree-chayn-j) Lifestyle change away
from the city to the bush. Similar in effect to a sea change, but
without the cockroaches, weekend traffic, and ridiculously expensive
real estate.
ute (n., yoo-t) Utility vehicle with two-door cabin,
resembling a sedan from the front but with rear open flat-top tray,
gated or solid-sided area that is ideal for the transport of hay bales,
trade tools and farm equipment. Ute models may be 4WD variants or
manufactured on the drive-train and chassis of a normal sedan. Utes are
a fashion statement and status symbol for many young rural folk,
particularly males, who often adorn them with spotlights (for shooting
pigs and 'roos), aerials (for two-way radio), huge bull bars (for stray
livestock and wildlife), and stickers saying things like: "XXXX", "Tooheys",
"Eat more beef", "I shoot and I vote", "Virgins wanted", and "No fat
chicks". Rural Australia's deep love for the ute is typified by Lee
Kernaghan's hit song : "She's My Ute" (written with Colin Buchanan).
wattle (n., wott-ull) The Golden Wattle, acacia
pycnantha, is the floral emblem of Australia. It is a perennial,
medium-sized bush with grey-green foliage and flower clusters of tiny,
fluffy, golden balls, the air-borne pollen from which can cause a
hayfever-type reaction in some people. There are 128 different species
of acacia, all beautiful in bloom, and all unique to the Australian
bush. National Wattle Day is 1st September.
wedgie (n., wedj-ee) An 'extra' beer, self-purchased
in between rounds due in the course of a "shout" (see above).
yobbo (n., yobb-oe) Unmannered male; male of low
apparent intelligence.
yobie (n., yoe-bee) An indefinite measurement
meaning: "just exactly as much as one needs, and not a bit more". Not a
common expression; mainly heard among sheep farmers living on the hard,
unforgiving plains of Central Western New South Wales.
youse (n., yoo-z) Collective plural form of "you", as
in two or more people: "what do youse reckon?".
Australian Bureau of Meteorology
Australian State Emblems
Australian Road Distances
Town Distance Calculator
Australia's Tallest Buildings
Butcherbird